Better Late Than Never - At Home Update

I’ve put off writing this blog for two months - partly because the holidays have kept me busy, constantly engaged or exhausted. But I also think maybe I needed time to rest and heal. 

I’m back home. Back in Texas, back with my friends, and back with my dog (thank God). I came home two months earlier than planned - partly because my family was shook with a cancer diagnosis right after I left, and partly because I was done. Let me explain…

I loved London. I adored the city, and the experiences I had. I got to explore other cities in England, and travel to Paris for a weekend. I really am so lucky and so fortunate that I had this opportunity. But it was hard. I only made one friend in the city, and I’m so glad for that friendship, but one friend in a big city can be hard. I lived with a mom and a daughter who had their way of doing things, and I didn’t fit into their rhythm as well as I would’ve liked. I was anxious in the house I stayed in because I couldn’t make it my home. Four months in a place where you’re walking on eggshells and living in discomfort takes a toll. So I came home early. 

Every year my family picks a word to focus on. For 2021, I picked “adventure”, just randomly. And yet I ended up having the biggest adventure ever. I don’t know if you believe in God, but to me that is such a cool way for Him to remind me that there’s a plan. And the things I’ve seen, what I learned about independence, are such unique things. 

People keep telling me they would have never done this at my age. But I don’t think I would’ve done it either had things not have lined up for me so nicely. Having a place to stay and having financial help from my parents made it possible. But I think doing this at 20 has taught me to learn to be ok with just myself for company. To go out and eat at a restaurant by myself. To try new things all alone. To not back out of something just because I’d go alone. It’s taught me to take life slow. I read so much while I was there. I’d sit in a park and read, sit in a cafe and read, or even read instead of watching tv. And I love nothing more than watching tv and zoning out. 

So I’m home. I’m attending school with a new major. I’m writing poetry and short stories again. Trying to keep these new creative outlets going while I adjust back to normalcy. I want to thank everyone who followed me and read these blogs. Those who asked me questions when I got back (because some people didn’t). And to everyone who said they wish they could do what I did, please try. It’s a big world out there with a lot of cool experiences. While we have the time (i.e, death, climate change, Covid), we should appreciate what is out there. So travel and read and love yourself because life without those things is honestly not worth having.