The Loss of Girlhood
I was listening to Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve by Taylor Swift and something occurred to me: In this song she says, “Give me back my girlhood it was mine first.” I’ve been seeing young women everywhere posting about what this line means to them and I thought “Wait a minute… How many of us have lost our girlhood because of things beyond out control?”
We lose our girlhood to men who stare at our young bodies, our schools who shame our bodies, the world that fails to keep us safe, the pressure to grow up quickly, the anxiety of just being alive, and the dimming of our joy by people who say it’s obnoxious. I lost my girlhood when people called me bossy, when I was really just a natural born leader. I lost my girlhood when people called me annoying for having joy and loving to laugh. I lost my girlhood to years of social anxiety and the fear I wasn’t adequate enough to have friends. I lost my girlhood to guys who only like a diluted version of me.
Our girlhood is sweetness and pure, and we should decide when we leave that phase. It shouldn’t be something taken from us. Women aren’t allowed to stay young and immature, we have to grow up. We have to follow thousands of rules dictating our bodies and free will. It’s infuriating and sad. We talk a lot about healing our inner child, and I think for girls we lost valuable time in our formative years. Society tells us how we should look and feel in those years and none of it is accurate. I spent years thinking I wasn’t pretty enough or cool enough. I tried to fit in with people who I thought were supposed to be my friends, not the people I actually liked. We lose the parts of ourselves that make us sweet, because the world demands us to be strong. Not because people like strong women, but because it is safer if we are strong. We aren’t safe unless we’re alert and prepared for the worst. And that is no way to live. I lost my girlhood the first time a grown man catcalled my young self. I lost my girlhood when boys made hot lists about us. I lost my girlhood when people’s biggest compliment was about my looks. I lost my girlhood when I started walking with keys between my fingers. I think a lot of people can relate to this. And I just had to say it.
I often wish I could go back in time and tell myself to hold onto that innocence. That sweetness and optimism I had when I was a girl. I wish it hadn’t been conditioned out of me. Because now I have to dig around to find her.