A Time to Rest
Have you ever been so stressed or anxious that you cannot fall asleep? No matter what you do, your mind races, and it will not rest? This is every night for me. Well almost every night...
One of the many wonderful things I learned in therapy is that people with anxiety just do not sleep. Even when we're supposed to be asleep, our mind continues to race, making it hard to sleep through the night. My wonderful therapist told me that the reason I am always so tired, and can never sleep, is because my mind is too busy ruminating on the whole day I've had, and thinking about what the next few days will look like. It's thinking six months ahead. So I don't sleep. Or it's restless sleep in the REM cycle.
This past week, I have not been able to get rest. I am on my phone, refreshing my feed to stay informed on what's happening. And when I wake up in the morning (but really at noon) I check my phone and catch up on what I missed in the night. Our news is 24 hours, it never rest. And as someone who wants to stay informed and educated, I am reading every article, watching every video. The amount of videos and pictures of people being gassed and shot at that I have seen is probably not healthy. But I want to know what's going on, I want to be involved. And so my mind races all day, thinking about what is happening.
But here's how I look at it: If I am THIS tired after a week, imagine how tired black people are. If I am this emotional and exhausted and tired of what I'm seeing, imagine how much worse it is for black people. And then that makes me even more upset, because I can't imagine feeling this tired for the rest of my life. I can't imagine what black people my age feel, when they see how tired their parents are.
All this to say: if you're tired of seeing this, then do something productive to stop it. Sign a petition, donate, call out some of your relatives for their prejudice. Just do something to help.
"It is not enough that we do our best; sometimes we must do what is required" - Winston Churchill.
Read John 15. Soak in every word. There is not one verse, that does not apply to our current societal situation. Really think about what Jesus would do. The man was radical and not silent. So why are you so comfortable staying silent??
Here's the gist: When I am my most tired, when I am my most anxious, there is usually a point in the future where I know I will rest. There is always a 24 hour period after my most stressful times that I sleep and finally rest. I sincerely hope and pray that time comes soon. A time when black people can finally close their eyes and rest. They are tired, and we need to help them out, so that they can finally rest.